Peace with Realism

Home   Contents Site Map Links Search

Those Castrating Zionists!

We knew those powerful Jews had a lot of power, but we didn't know they were this powerful. But listen:

It happened in Khartoum, the capital of Sudan. Rumor had it that foreigners were strolling around shaking hands with Sudanese men and making their penises disappear.

Two of these unfortunate nouveau eunuchs told their stories to the press (the London-based Arabic daily Al-Quds Al-Arabi for September 22, 2003). One was a fabric merchant who got into an argument with a customer in his shop. The customer shook the merchant's hand and the merchant suddenly "felt his penis melt into his body." He went out of his mind and was taken to the hospital.

The other victim was approached in the marketplace by a man who gave him a comb and asked him to comb his hair. Immediately after using the comb, the miserable fool noticed he had lost his penis.

These are only two examples, but dozens of people who wondered where their penises went filed complaints with the police. The police brought suspects in for questioning and riots broke out as mobs tried to attack them. No one was above suspicion as people began turning against each other, frantically searching for their stolen penises.

Who was ultimately responsible for the theft of the Sudanese phalli? Who would even want them? At first suspicion fell upon "West Africans," but one Sudanese columnist determined to get to the bottom of it blew the tip right off in an article published in the Saudi daily Al-Watan (September 24, 2003).

So can you guess who really was behind this attack upon the manhood of the good men of the Sudan?

First, the true nature of the threat must be assessed. The report in the Saudi paper claims that the comb is a " laser-controlled surgical robot" that penetrates the skull of the victim and passes right through to the sensitive target area where it neutralizes the victim's maleness. The outraged writer wanted to scream at the chump: "You jackass, how can you put a comb from a man you don't know to your head, while even relatives avoid using the same comb?!" What was the poor fellow thinking? The laser must have fried his brain on its way to the grand prize.

By now the answer to the mystery is clear. There could be only one source capable of developing such a high-technology emasculator. The man with the comb was, according to the report, "an imperialist Zionist agent that was sent to prevent our people from procreating and multiplying." Well, DUHHH!!! Who else could have done it?

How fragile is the manhood of an enraged anti-Zionist.

(I didn't make any of this up, honest. You can check the source.)


"Panic in Khartoum: Foreigners Shake Hands, Make Penises Disappear." In Middle East Media Research Institute, Special Dispatch Series No. 593, October 22, 2003.

Return to Looney Tunes

Israeli-Palestinian Conflict:
Peace with Realism